Monday, December 24, 2012

I HOME SCHOOL MY 4 BOYS!

Posted at   12:57 AM  |  in   Wendy brown Kelly

There are children who simply cannot get the individually focused and flexible learning they need in a traditional classroom according to K12.

Inward Core Healthcare Services believes some children with learning disabilities or behavioral challenges benefit more mentally by having an individualized education. Individualized education can take place in a few traditional public schools, but students are most likely to gain it in homeschooling, private schools, or online school.

The lack of social skills are usually the first factor a parent points out when asked about homeschooling or online school. However, an independently completed study concludes that the social skills of students enrolled in full-time, online public schools are superior to or not significantly different than students enrolled in traditional public schools.  Read more about the study here.

There are free accredited programs parents can use to help with homeschooling their children. Inward Core, The FIX recommend K12.  Please read a story by Wendy Brown Kelly of her secrets of happiness of homeschooling her 4 boys and maybe this will help remove any fears you may have if you desire to home-school your child(ren).

I always balk when I am asked my secret to happiness homeschooling my 4 boys. I have a hard time articulating what I do and how I do it without mentioning prayer, so I'll get that out of the way right off the top. I pray. Constantly. I wake up in prayer, pray throughout the day, and go to bed praying.
I do believe that this chance to be happy with my family is due to the grace of God, and I can't pretend that this is not the case.
Wendy Brown Kelly
Wendy Brown Kelly
However, beyond that simple truth, I think there are a few methods I use that help me "recharge" during stressful times.

The most important one, for me, is remaining mindful. To me, that is simply remembering what my priorities are, what my goals are. When the kids were small, I used to call this "triage" -- With a sense of humour, I would say that I was doing triage -- and way, way, way down on the list were things like a clean house or perfectly neat children. Messiness is not my first choice for my family, but quite honestly, I had to let go of my wanting a clean house because I knew that I could not have both a clean home and the less tangible but more important things I wanted, such as:

1. Creativity
2. Spontaneous learning
3. Children who are best friends
4. Harmonious family life

I steadfastly and firmly say that I am my children's' best friend, too. I know, I know. That puts a lot of people off. But hear me out. I think, to be quite frank, that we may have lost the true meaning of friendship. I don't tell my children everything. They are not my "pals" or my "buddies" -- they are however, true friends. I think of it this way: a true friend is someone you care about enough to say the hard stuff to -- to put the effort into. I care about them enough to stay patient and kind and not allow them to stay on the computer longer than our agreed upon limit. I care enough about them to listen to them tell me about stuff that is important to them. I care about them enough to invest the hours into the relationship that are necessary for a true friendship to develop. I care enough about them to be there for them even when, frankly, I don't want to be. When I am tired, distracted by adult concerns, or simply bored : ). And I think, quite honestly, that this investment is a huge reason that I am able to stay charged when I am with them. The relationship with my children (and my husband, of course) is hugely important to me. And because this is my priority, because this is where my effort is, it grows and becomes stronger.

And, quite honestly, I rarely need to recharge because of this focus. Now, of course, I need to carve out time for myself. And here I have to confess, I have no easy answer for mothers of young children. They need you way more than humanly possible in today's society to give them of yourself. They need you. Period. And society will tell you again and again to take time for yourself. Each mother has to make her own decision about what to do with this push-me pull-you, but I honestly am one to advocate for surrender to it, if you can. This does not mean give yourself up. I managed to pursue a Master's degree, work, and write as well as look after my kids. But what I would suggest is that when I finally realized that these small people did need me, and did need me at odd hours and for odd reasons and with absolutely no notice, I was able to calmly explain that no, actually, I won't be able to make that deadline. More often than not, I was able to carve out time for both the child's needs and my own. Of course there were and are conflicts. Sometimes it can get very messy. I have had to choose to work for money, and I have had to leave them crying. I have had to get a paper finished, and I have had to type as fast as I could while also carrying on a conversation about dinosaurs and sharks with my small child. A sense of humor helps. A lot. Spontaneous laughter and a realization that this moment is just that, a moment, and you can be still within it if you remember to breathe.

And they do grow up. And I have found, now that I have two teenagers (15 and 13) as well as a 10 year old and an 8 year old, that they are growing into people who are as patient with me as I am and have been with them. I would suggest that if you are willing to hold their hands when they need it, and let go as they become ready, they grow into confident, capable people who are happy to help you out and give you the time and space you need. The early years are difficult, but if you can keep your eye on the prize, the payoff is exponential, and well worth the delayed gratification.


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About Inward Core, THE FIX Dr. Nancia Leath, MAC LPC NCC CPCS

Inward Core, THE FIX is a self-improvement site for all. The owner is Dr. Nancia Leath, MAC LPC NCC CPCS. She is a devoted wife to Boris, caring mom to Gracelyn, Brooke, and Titus, and sweet friend to many. She help others by being a Licensed Professional Mental Health Therapist, National Certified Counselor, Master Addiction Counselor, Author of two books: Feed Your Faith and Crush Your Doubts, Emancipate In Your Chair, Professional and Motivational Speaker, Life Coach and Licensed Minister. She enjoys spending time with her husband, three children, and two dogs. She have a blast when she does trainings, motivating others to thrive, encouraging youth to be strong leaders in their communities (Teen Help Other People 501c3 - TeenHOP - www.teenhop.com), and helping all to live out their God given purposes. She also have fun doing interviews and being special guest on radio or television (just to name a few - HGTV, Steve Harvey, Sweet Retreats/Disney). You may even find one of her informative notes in successful companies' newsletters/magazines. Many use her services in order to experience life changing therapy, coaching services, and superb supervision to new therapists. You will never forget Nancia Leath after meeting her, many claims "she is a true inspiration." Contact Dr. Nancia Leath, MAC LPC NCC CPCS HERE.

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