See the Flaws EARLY!

Most relationships are unhealthy or expire because of unrealistic perceptions. An unworkable acuity that destroys any type of relationship is putting a person on a pedestal. Please know everyone have flaws, regardless of how they appear. The key is to find out who they really are in the beginning to prevent you from wasting a lot of your time and avoiding headaches.

Most people try to show their best side in the beginning of the relationship. This works great for a person who only wants the person for sex and not desire a long lasting relationship. However, if you are seeking a healthy relationship the best thing to do is to inform the person you are dating all your flaws and learn everything you need to know about the person. Let the person know in the beginning what you will and will not tolerate. After you state your flaws, if a person can’t accept who you are in the beginning they usually don't accept you after the honeymoon phase or even after you are married. Plus studies have shown that relationships last when the person is able to accept your flaws.

When a person is aware of your flaws and able to accept or help you get rid of your flaws, most likely your relationship will last for a long time or to death. Reasons why there are so many breakups or divorces are people learn a lot of new things after they become an item and they have a difficult time with acceptance. Some things are hard to accept about a person, especially if the person is a rapist, lack integrity, or not sure of their sexuality.

Most people reason why they don't tell their flaws early is because the person whom they desire may walk away. This maybe true, but know there is someone out there who is willing to accept all of you or encourage you to get help. However, if you have a problem accepting minor flaws (snoring, over/underweight, speech issues, outer appearance, short, etc) in a person, you most likely will end up alone. If you are or the person you are interested flaws are overwhelming and will cause harm you may not want to seek a long lasting relationship. Nevertheless, the best thing is to let the person know exactly who you are, the good and the bad. You most likely have your soul mate if s/he is willing to accept or help you get rid of your baggage.

Written by Nancia Leath, MA LPC NCC- Founder/Owner of Inward Healthcare Services

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