Monday, April 8, 2013

Fear.....Excuses, by Dr. Pooler

Posted at   8:02 AM  |  in   transition

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really “stop” to look fear in the face. You MUST do the things which YOU think you cannot do.”  No Excuses!!

Eleanor’s statement holds significant weight for me, personally. Fear knew my name for many years and served as my “best friend,” without my consent. There were no Excuses for my entertaining variables associated with fear: Overreacting to the slightest comment, Exaggerated fears, Distorted thinking, Finding it almost difficulties to cultivate positive attitudes, Beliefs; thus, becoming trapped. In addition, my heart was not open and my mind was disengaged because my consciousness was focused on fear, not love.  However, I realized one day how critical it was for me to research the effect of fear(s) on my physical, spiritual, and psychological life as a whole. I learned fear can be conquered BUT I must, first, train the mindset to address pessimistic approaches confidently while seeking to demonstrate the more favorable (Optimistic) method of thinking in all circumstances. 

When fear is present, we see everything through the filter of possible danger. I did, once, until I learned to transition my mindset…it was truly a process…. a challenge. I was willing to persevere, however!! 

We tend to often narrow our focus to those things that can harm us. Fear becomes the lens through which we see the world. Everyone experiences a measure of fear, at some point in life, which challenges our courage, strength, and/or confidence, as stated by Eleanor Roosevelt.  Experts suggest that two reactions occur when fear is activated in our lives:  “Fight or Flight Response.” The "fight or flight response" is our body's original innate response that trains the body to "fight" or "flee" from perceived attack, harm or threat to our existence.  According to Walter Cannon, Harvard physiologist, the response to fear is implanted into our brains and signify a genetic wisdom intended to protect us from bodily harm. This response actually corresponds to an area of our brain called the “hypothalamus”, which—when inspired—awakes a series of nerve cells firing; thus, chemical are released which prepares our body for running or fighting.  
But what is fear and what causes it?

Fear is a simulated feeling of disturbance and anxiety caused by the episodes of forthcoming danger, both mentally and physically. The flight or flight response refers to a specific biochemical reaction that humans experience during intense stress and fear. The sympathetic nervous system releases hormones that cause changes to occur throughout the body. These changes include, but are not limited to:

  • Increased heart and breathing rate
  • Suppression of the digestive system
  • Release of epinephrine
  • Inhibition of Pain

Some fears are more minor and once the mind practice pushing self out of its comfort zone, we learn to produce a healthy and controlled response to fear.  Honestly, facing one’s fears is not comfortable but developing coping skills will certainly make the process satisfying, this approach requires work.  Its clear that fear will constrict one’s life if he or she does nothing to confront the situation. No Excuses for not Confronting!! Fear and Excuses are compatible. The two variables complement each other. Have you considered that  “No Fears constitute No Excuses”.  Don’t allow yourself to be held back because of Excuses and Fears. Excuses are a cop-out!  Excuses are a smoke screen!  Excuses do not change the outcome; it only keeps you from learning from your mistakes.  The first step in facing your fear is to stop making excuses. Thus, I challenge you to identify your fears, research the variables associated with your fears, conquer each one of them with an optimistic approach, then, move forward in confident and faith.

If you really want to do something you will always find a way. But, if you don’t want to do it, you will almost always find excuses.

Noteworthy, there’s a plethora of information available in print: Internet, books, peer reviews and journal databases that will help you understand how to respond to fear. Become well informed on how to demonstrate a healthy fear opposed to unhealthy fears.  No Excuses!  No Excuses, I conclude that when you decide to conceptualize that fear will no longer control your life, you’ll transition from one area of your life to a more advanced one, I did!! Remember, fear is always your enemy. If you never try to utilize your God-given ability, find your talent, live with purpose, face your fears and denounce excuses; fear wins by 110%. Fear is the root of failure, stagnation, low self-esteem, depression, confinement; thus, ultimate problems.

Warm Regards,
Dr. Pooler


Now that you have learned the meaning of fear and how your excuses are connected to your fears Inward Core will like to encourage you to take what Dr. Pooler has provided and apply it to your life starting today. Please don't make excuses for not implementing what you learned if you truly want to push through your fears. Please start off with these easy steps:
  • Identify excuses you have allowed yourself to make. Write down all your excuses in a notebookMake a list of the fears you want to face. Select one fear that you will work on for 21 days. Don't worry about how daunting the fear is, but how you will feel after you accomplish the goal or push through your fear. This may take some thinking. For an example, you may want to approach more strangers, but don't feel comfortable. An excuse you may use is "They don't care what I have to say." or  "I don't want anyone else to hurt me."  
  • Beside each excuse write down an action step(s) you can take to get rid of the excuse. Ex. "I will start off by speaking to people who get on the elevator with me in the mornings at work." or "I will purposely go to different events, speak to 2 people, and collect their information."
  • Assign a date of when you will take the action step(s)
  • Talk to someone about your fears/excuses and the steps you are willing to take to push through your fears (Please select a person that will support you and not inform others). 
  • Celebrate ALL steps you take in order to help you push through your fears (even the small ones).
Please send Inward Core an email of any fears you decided to Push Through or email us if you need more suggestions to help you push through your fears.

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About Inward Core, THE FIX Dr. Nancia Leath, MAC LPC NCC CPCS

Inward Core, THE FIX is a self-improvement site for all. The owner is Dr. Nancia Leath, MAC LPC NCC CPCS. She is a devoted wife to Boris, caring mom to Gracelyn, Brooke, and Titus, and sweet friend to many. She help others by being a Licensed Professional Mental Health Therapist, National Certified Counselor, Master Addiction Counselor, Author of two books: Feed Your Faith and Crush Your Doubts, Emancipate In Your Chair, Professional and Motivational Speaker, Life Coach and Licensed Minister. She enjoys spending time with her husband, three children, and two dogs. She have a blast when she does trainings, motivating others to thrive, encouraging youth to be strong leaders in their communities (Teen Help Other People 501c3 - TeenHOP -, and helping all to live out their God given purposes. She also have fun doing interviews and being special guest on radio or television (just to name a few - HGTV, Steve Harvey, Sweet Retreats/Disney). You may even find one of her informative notes in successful companies' newsletters/magazines. Many use her services in order to experience life changing therapy, coaching services, and superb supervision to new therapists. You will never forget Nancia Leath after meeting her, many claims "she is a true inspiration." Contact Dr. Nancia Leath, MAC LPC NCC CPCS HERE.

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