Blood Is Thicker Than Water?

Most families love to use the term "Blood Is Thicker Than Water" when they want their child, sibling, parent or family to feel shameful for disagreeing with their points of views or choosing a friend over a family member. There are some people who think this statement should be implemented for people to select their siblings or parents over their spouses and children. I was in awe to hear how many honestly don't understand the purpose for this statement, plus how it was misadapted by many people who considered themselves as scholars of the Bible. I will not argue with anyone and not say blood is thicker than water if we put both in different cups, but it's not a quote for you to manipulate family members, control a person, or use to demand loyalty.

You are going to be enlighten from this post of what the real version means. You will be made more aware of the family you was born into do not automatic enforce a covenant (true) relationship. This info will provide answers of

1) Why parents can easily give children they gave birth up for adoption, leave or not visit their biological children for years, have favorites among their children, and even abort them.

2) Why siblings from the same parents or family can go for years and not speak to each other when they are angry for stupid conflicts.

3) Why you should not be upset or have expectations from your birth parents or siblings who never made a promise to do what you expect from them as a child or an adult.

4) Why you should purposely make true covenants with spouse, parents, children, friends, or anyone important in your life if you desire a covenant and let go of the lie of thinking you have an automatic covenant because of how you was born or have similar blood in your veins.

Let's first jump in of how the statement "Blood Is Thicker Than Water" is not a saying Jesus will agree to base on how many try to use it today.

In Matthew 12:46 - 50, Jesus had no shame and was very clear about which relationship he considered more valuable. He told all in front of his biological mother and bother his relationship was with those whom he joined in covenant that did the will of God, than the relationship with his mother and a brother/sister whom he shared the womb. Also in John 19:25-27 he told his covenant brother that his mother was now their mother and told his mother his covenant brother was now her son so his covenant brothers took his biological mother into their home. To be honest with you, Jesus understood this concept at an earlier age when his biological family forgot him and was looking for him in Luke 2:49. He asked them why were they searching for him and how he must do his Father's business. Yes, Jesus is Love, but many will consider his statements unloving in those moments. Do you think he was confused? I will have to say no, because he understood life from a spiritual dimension and not from a fleshly state, which is another conversation and hard for many to grasp.

The Real Version

You will be surprise of how the real meaning of "Blood Is Thicker Than Water" is the opposite of how people try to use it today. The real version completely changes the meaning. The quote comes from: “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” This actually means that blood shed in battle bonds soldiers more strongly than simple genetics. As you can see, it doesn’t refer to family at all.

Free Yourself from the Pain of Others...

There are a lot people today who are in pain emotionally or angry with their biological mothers, fathers, siblings, children, or anyone they believe should support, be loyal, never leave or forsake regardless of what they do. Please understand true covenants do not come automatically in any species, it needs to be stated, plus it is also a spiritual concept which is produce by emotional intimacy, doing what it takes to be supportive, forgiving, loyal, be a person of your word, and having integrity. Even though it will be great to see these elements demonstrated in our biological parents or family member, this is not always natural for most because of different values. So if you are blaming somebody for your lack in any area of your life and they never verbalized a promise to you, please release them, forgive them for what you think they should be or do, and discuss the covenant you will like to develop with them. If they can't achieve or willing to aim towards your exceptions, love them for where they are, don't compare, and know without doubt there is someone in the world who will make a real covenant with you. It's usually people you least expect, so be acceptable especially if your values are similar.

How To Develop A True Covenant

When you develop a covenant with someone you are saying you will support, defend, and protect your relationship. There are different types of Covenants we can have with others.

Marriage

A great example of a true covenant is a marriage between two people. These two people are aware of each other good, happy, sad, bad, or all segments of life. These people usually reproduce or adopt children in order to make-up their family. People getting married are actually following what Jesus instructed in the Bible when it is pertaining to a marriage between a man and a woman. Check it out in Mark 10:6-9. He plainly say let no one separate what God joined together after two people come together. Couples promise each other by saying and living in a way to show each other that they represent each other at all times, all their possessions belong to each other, they give themselves completely to each other and not others.

Children

It is great for parents to tell their children of how they will always be in their life and remind them when they become teenagers and even adults. Never assume your children know, because situations may occur could cause them to think differently. It is important for parents to show with their actions and words of how happy they are to be a parent when their children are between the ages 0-11. Parents will need to stress over and over againg to their children of how important they are when their children are from ages 12 - 18. This is the time parents have to insert a lot corrections. Plus, this is the time they need to hear words of acceptance, because this is the time they are trying to find themselves, which in most causes they lean towards defiant behaviors. Let them know how you will be there for them even when tough love is needed. When they become adults, the key is to explain how you are willing to be a support or will like to be included in their support system. Just don't assume anything in order to prevent misunderstandings.

 Family

This can be people in your biological family, church, gang, military, motorcycle club, tribe, small group, frat/sorority, work place, volunteer club, traveling club, or whomever you consider your family. These are the people you invite to celebrate life with, people who like to be witnesses of your commitments, motivate you not to give up on your life goals or people you made commitments/promises to (God, spouses and children), be there to give a helping hand when they see and when you ask for help, won't harm or try to date your spouse, protect your children like their own, pray for each other, forgive quickly because they know this group of people are very valuable and thankful for the relationships.

Friendship

You usually state what you expect and willing to give in these relationships. You take time to know the person in order to make sure this person will be a friend or if you can be a friend. Most friendships support one another, celebrate, confront, build up, forgive, receive/give, honor, and protect each other. This is usually among two - eight people who have the same values, respect, and understandings about life.

Although these different types of covenants are beautiful and have the ability to impact your life in positive ways many people don't seek to have true covenant relationships for various reasons or don't know they need to take steps in order to make sure they are in place. The sad thing is there are also people who try to destroy covenant relationships for self-seeking, negative reasons. My hope is that each one of you are on the side of wanting to develop strong relationships, do what it takes to help maintain your marriages, be there to encourage others to maintain their marriages, bless all your covenant relationships with your words/prayers, show you care, do what is needed to let people know you are supportive, and give of yourself when there is a need or see a need.


Seal The Deal..

So please always REMEMBER Blood Is Not Thicker Than Water when it is referring to your biological parents, siblings, or family members. It has to do with the people who are willing to love, care, support, do what it is needed to maintain unity, and not try to devalue/take/covet what you have or who you are as an individual. It is your responsibility to take time to make true covenants with your children by letting them know you will not do anything to cause them to feel abandon or you will care/love and protect them when they can't protect themselves. Don't assume they should know this, but make sure they know this. 

Show and tell your spouse consistently of your covenant with him/her and not just on your anniversaries.  It's more than just about making sure they have dinner, their clothes washed, bills are paid or doing what's needed to satisfied their everyday needs, but do something extra to show and express your commitment. Always let them know they are appreciated even when they do something small and look for ways to celebrate each other in close doors and in public. Everyone should now you have a covenant with your spouse.

Thank and inform your family or friends who have supported you so they will know you have their back and vise versa. Attend their celebrations or initiate a celebration to show your covenant. Only talk about to others of how proud you are of them and thankful for your relationship. Don't let others speak negative about them, if you have conflict you handle it with the person directly.


For all covenants the key is doing what it is needed to maintain and show you will live out your covenants in all your relationships in a healthy way. Understand your covenant with your spouse will be different than your covenant with your friends, parents, spiritual leader, or siblings. All should understand and respect your priorities even if they want to be first on your list. In most situations people have God 1st, their spouse, their children, and ect.. Be honest with your feelings in front of the person and not speak negative behind their backs when their is a disagreement. Don't hold onto grudges because this will cause you not to maintain your covenants. 

May all your covenants become stronger as you do what it takes to make sure they are in place.  


Dr. Leath