Finding the True Picture - Steps to Pushing Thru Your Fears

We have heard so much about positive visualization that it has become another blindly accepted tenet of pop psychology. We have all been told at some point, "if you can imagine it, then you can do it". But let's think about that. If it were that easy, wouldn't you just have everything you have ever dreamed of?  Oh, right, then they told you that you didn't get what you wanted because you didn't want it bad enough. Did you believe that or did you really think"That doesn't seem fair. There has to be another way. I deserve better."

Recent research has shown that positive visualization can actually rob you of success by convincing your brain that you have already achieved and therefore can relax. It can actually rob you of the mental energy you need to PUSH THRU.
Obviously, there is a very practical use for positive visualization especially when going after something new. It is important to think through the possibilities and steps you will need to take to achieve your goal. Visualization is a terrific way to do that. Visualize what you want. Really picture all the details and include all your senses, what do you hear, smell, etc.  Now, work backwards, step by step. Start with what you need, where do you get those things, how do you get them, what will be the "cost". What you end up with is a reverse blueprint.

But what stops many of us is we lose our drive or ambition at this point. Here is where positive visualization may no longer help you. Try instead to ask yourself "What is the best that can happen?" And "What is the worst that can happen?" The answer to the former will probably be your original goal and the answer to the latter is you will end up right back where you are now. So now you have your parameters, that is to say your beginning and your end. Now, take a moment to become aware of the anxiety that is associated with each of these. If you are honest, there should be at least a little fear of truly achieving your goal. After all, it means you would have to really own it, not to mention keep moving past it! When you are aware of what that anxiety is, for example, "If I go on this blind date, I might really like him. That means I would have to open up and risk being hurt emotionally." On the other side, "if I don't go, then I could miss out on meeting THE ONE and will always be alone. That means I would have to get comfortable being with myself and that is terrifying." Now really let that sink in and feel that for a minute.

So you may now have some idea what it is that has been holding you back. So take your reverse blueprint from before and walk thru it with those fears in mind, noting where your anxiety rises. Your anxiety is nothing more than your conscience letting you know there is a problem to be addressed, or a conflict. Instead of running from it or popping a Xanax, learn to appreciate it for the wonderful tool it is. It is your mental radar that gives you warning there is a bump in the road.

To reduce your anxiety, try exaggerating your best and worst outcomes. Although you probably won't like either of your images, this will help you to see how your worries shape your behavior. Go ahead and have fun with it. This is a great exercise to do with a trusted friend. Being able to laugh at the ridiculousness of our worries is remarkably freeing.

Remember, if you want something you've never had, you have to do something you've never done.Get excited about facing your fears and push thru!


Please send Inward Core an email of any fears you decided to Push Through or email us if you need more suggestions to help you push through your fears.

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