I remember lots of family vacations with my parents and siblings while growing up in Louisiana. We visited almost all of the 50 states in America. I vividly recall paying special attention to the different dialect of the people in other parts of the country. I’d always heard that people who lived in the south had strong country accents and that our education system was poor. Although I have several family members with higher education degrees, I didn’t know how that fit into places outside my small town and state. I was an average student and an average athlete in high school. Nothing particular stood out about me.
After college, I got married and had a daughter. Things didn’t work out. I was unhappy for a while. Depression and anxiety set in a week after giving birth to my first child. I needed to make the best decision for our daughter to grow up in a healthy, peaceful environment because I knew that she would only be as joyful and peaceful as I was. So I decided to face my fears of “what ifs” and end the marriage. At the time, everything seemed so hard to handle because I was very afraid of where my life would go from there. Most of the people around me increased my fears by stating their opinions about what I should or should not do. But I had to live with me day after day and night after sleepless night. Looking back, I know I made the best decision. I was afraid, but I kept moving in spite of my fears.
I was introduced to my current husband a short while after the divorce. He was opposite my first husband. Shortly after getting married, he accepted a job out of state. I thought I knew fear, but this is when the real fear set in. I recall thinking things like:
I’ve never lived anywhere else, so how will I know what to do?
I don’t know anyone there, so who will I talk to or spend time with?
If something happens, who will help us?
and last the biggest one of all: I am just a country girl, there is no way I can compete for jobs in a bigger city with people who graduated from bigger colleges.
Well, we made the move with my daughter. I stayed home with her for a few months to get acclimated to our new city. I remember feeling the need to be around other adults and wanting to earn money to help with household expenses. I was so nervous when I made the call to the temporary staffing agency. The staffing specialist was so kind. It was a Friday and my appointment was on Monday.
I spent the entire weekend wondering what I should wear, how I would answer the interview questions, how I would score on the tests, etc., etc. When Monday came, I got dressed and headed over to the office in a part of town I’d never seen before. I remember getting lost so I was super thankful that I left almost 2 hours early! As I walked into the office, my specialist looked at me and apologized for being so “spaced-out” because she had gotten a call from one of the largest insurance companies in the area needing someone for a temp-to-hire position in their HR department as an assistant. I told her that it was no problem and that I didn’t mind waiting for her to finish doing what she needed to do. She went back to working on it. A few minutes later, she asks me if I’d mind taking that job for just today. She would send my paperwork via carrier for me to complete on my lunch break. I said yes. I promised my husband that I would only be 2 hours or so and that I would be back in time to get my daughter so he could go to work. He worked from home, so he was okay with it. Well, I called him back to let him know that I had agreed to the job. I called my daughter’s gymnastic instructor to find out if my daughter could do an entire camp day instead of a half-day. Everything fell into place.
I showed up to my assignment and got busy. By noon, the HR Manager called me into his office. I felt my stomach turning over. I went in and found the lady I was reporting to for the day sitting in one of the empty chairs with the Manager behind a huge desk. I sat down and they began telling me how impressed they were with my time management and ability to catch on so quickly. They offered me a permanent job on the spot. At that moment, I knew that facing my fears head on was the only option I had for the rest of my life. As I look back over my life and even type this, I realize that just these things I’ve written about are only a tiny part of who I am and my life story. Bigger things have happened since this time. I’ve had to face many battles and am currently in the midst of a major battle, but I know that I will see it through and that everything will be okay; even if things don’t work out how I want them to. It will be okay. Be Blessed!
I am very shy and private, so I will just sign this as…..
Humbled and grateful,
A
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