Stop Hugging The Blame

It is so easy to tell people how they need to change when you are looking from the outside. However, you may find it difficult to change bad habits, painful relationship, or your dead-end job. Although you may have heard or even said to yourselves, “If you always do what you’ve always done, you will always get what you’ve always got.” But you still find yourself not being able to embrace change. Think of one thing you want to change, but have not done as of yet. How long have you been waiting to make this change? Is it difficult for you to handle the emotions that change can conjure? There are so many questions that can be asked to help you provide blame, justification, or conditions for not taking steps in order to make alterations. This note is not about helping you hug items you desire to blame or justified for not changing, but help you identify what you BELIEVE about yourself to help you make sound decision and not from the place of being a victim or your powerful emotions.
1. Let’s start off by looking deep in your inner core, the place only you are allowed to step in. Take off your mask for just for 1 hour by pealing it off slowly with the knowing no one can judge or throw a stone at you because we all have something in our lives we have failed to change. Go to the section of your core that holds what you believe about yourself, not what others may say or think about you.

2. Write down every belief you have about that bad habit (if you’re having a hard time identifying your beliefs you may need to talk with someone that really know you or a therapist that can help you with this process).

3. Write down by every belief True or False, usually most of our beliefs are false when we have difficulties changing negative situations.

4. Then write down the consequences or rewards if you changed your beliefs and based it off true evidence and not assumptions or your hopes.

5. Make a decision to change or remain, based on what you believe and not what you think others will desire or expect.

6. Determine how you will need to change if this is your decision or what you will need to put in place to help you thrive if you remain.

7. Take a deep breath and know you are still wonderfully made.

Try to return back to this position next week or sooner even though it may not feel good and redo it again on another thing you may want to change. You will see as you do it over and over again it will be so much easier and you will be in a better place mentally.

Written by Nancia Leath, MA LPC NCC – Professional Licensed Mental Health Therapist, National Certified Counselor, and owner of Inward Core Healthcare Services -
Twitter -Nancialpc or Instagram #nancialpc

Website: www.inwardcorehealthcare.com

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