“I’m happy with my wife, but I have dreams of the first girl I had sex with twenty years ago and feel guilt of wanting to be with her too.”
“I’ve been working for this married man for ten years and we had an affair. I find myself daydreaming about having a life with him after breaking up with him two years ago. How can I stop thinking about wanting to be with him?”
For some people it’s easier to physically walk away from a relationship, but removing that person from their thoughts and feelings may be challenging. Yet, there are some who can quickly marry again after their spouse dies or following a divorce. Some will claim the ones who had difficulties letting go were deeply in love or the person was their soul mate. People will also argue the person who decided to marry right after their spouse dies or a divorce never really loved the person in the first place. When we don’t understand how powerful our thought process is, such statements are easy to believe.
God created humans to have free will, with that being said to believe a person was not in love with their deceased spouse because they moved on so quickly is a false assumption. The belief that a person cannot remove thoughts of someone because that person was their soul mate is also false. Soul ties can be untied. We choose our soul mates and we choose who we fall in love with. I may have lost a few readers after that sentence, but keep an open mind or fuss me out as you continue to read.
If a person believes that their spouse would want them to be happy after their death, that person will feel the freedom to marry again and love someone else. If a person believes he or she will always love the person that physically or emotionally harmed them, they will continue to have flashbacks, experience emotions which are difficult to describe, overlook the person’s flaws, or spend time trying to understand what happened. For example, if you believe it is okay to marry your pillow and be intimate with it, you will marry your pillow and be intimate with it. What you believe will determine your behaviors and how you feel about others. In order to emotionally disconnect from people, you first have to change how you think. Your beliefs control your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors.
Below are few steps to assist with breaking soul ties.
1. Acknowledge and believe you have the ability to be untied or move on with your life.
2. If you believe in prayer, pray and ask for guidance to help you identify beliefs you need to change.
3. Learn the origin of your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and behavior towards that person. (You may need a therapist to assist you with this process.)
4. Determine why you need to remove the person from your thoughts, dreams, and flashbacks.
5. When a pleasant thought of a previous relationship tries to emerge and starts to pull you back into the past, override this thought with why you will no longer allow that person to be in your life or in your thoughts, and express it out loud.
6. If the person was a past item, think about why you are no longer together and how wonderful your life is today. Recognize thoughts of them as a harmful distraction if you are married, and how that relationship prepared you for the person you are to your spouse. If the person died, think about how and why they will want you to move on with your life.
7. Read what others have shared, observe or talk with people who understand the importance of breaking emotional connections in order to help you be accountable.
These are only some of the steps that can help you change your beliefs so that your emotions can be untied from past relationships. Have any of these helped you in the past? We’d love to hear your
stories!
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