I asked a client, “Why do you expect someone else to like your short legs and fat arms when you have not decided to love them?” She looked at me as though I was insane and impossible to do. However, six sessions later she believed she had the control or could make the decision of what to love or hate. Love is not decided on how a person feels, it’s based on what a person believes or know to be true.
The moment a person understand how he/she decide to love a person, event, or item, the sooner they will be free from a lot of inner conflict in their lives. You have the ability to change what you hate and what you love in your life. However, you have been feed the lie your feelings, heart, or intuition tells you what to love and hate. Your feelings, heart, or intuition are in place for you to recognize and assess new changes that are inserted in your life, but you determine based on your foundational beliefs to learn more in order to decide to love or hate what is offered.
I dare you to test this concept!
How To Learn To Hate
-Write down 5 things you hate about ONE thing you will like to change in your life.
-Purposely focus on how terrible “it” makes you feel after you do those behaviors, spending time with that person, or use that item.
-Meditate at least 10 times for at least 1 minute during your day on the harm it will cause you if you don’t choose to hate it or change. Refuse to justify the harm it will bring so your hate can continue to grow towards the action or behaviors. The more you think about how bad it is, the more you will hate it.
-The moment you “feel” like doing the action you are teaching yourself to hate, talk to people (even strangers) of how “……..” is causing you harm and where you see yourself in the future if you continue to enjoy it.
Most people become depressed or angry with themselves for holding on to the behavior, person, or item for so long after they are able to know the truth and hate their actions. The moment the love/like for the action is changed to hate, the person’s automatically draw to actions, people, or do things to make sure that person, action, or behavior do NOT come back into their lives.
How To Learn To Love
-Write down 5 things you like about ONE thing you will like to improve in your life.
-Purposely focus on how awesome “it” will make you feel after you do those behaviors, spending time with that person, or use that item.
-Meditate at least 10 times for at least 1 minute during your day on the good it will cause you if you do choose to love it or change. Refuse to justify or make an excuse not to love "...." so your love can continue to grow towards the action or behaviors. The more you think about how good it is, the more you will love it. Think about why commercials run over and over again.
-The moment you don’t “feel” like doing the action you are teaching yourself to love, talk to people (even strangers) of how “……..” is causing you to feel good and where you see yourself in the future if you continue to do “……”.
Most people find themselves having the heart of gratitude, joy, excitement, or confidence for being able to find something or someone good to love, especially good behavior. The moment the hatred for the action/person is changed to love, the person’s automatically do things to keep the action/person in their lives.
I'm a minister of the Gospel at heart so I can't just leave without encouraging you to love and hate what God loves & hate...
My last challenge in this post is to train yourself to love what God loves and hate what he hates according to Amos 5:15 “Hate the evil, and love the good, and establish judgment in the gate: …” You have been given the free will to decide on what you will love and hate, hopefully your decision lines up with your creator.
Hebrews 10:26 , 28 “For if we sin willfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins…. Of how much sorer punishment, suppose ye, shall he be though worthy, who hath trodden under foot the son of God, and hath counted the blood of the covenant, where with he was sanctified, an un holy thing, and hath done despite unto the Spirit of grace?
Willingly Greek word “hekon” Meaning: unforced, voluntary, willing
Many use Jesus Christ death to justify willing to love and do evil by trying to cover it with “grace.” The purpose for the grace is for you to be free not to do evil, but if you willfully do wrong please clearly understand Hebrews 10. Paul got it, or explained “the grace” that was “bestowed” upon him “was not in vain” so he “labored more abundantly” according to 1 Cor. 15:10. Nevertheless, whatever you believe, please know you get to chose to love or hate what’s in your life, even people. It’s not based on what you feel, so willingly learn to be thankful and love God, yourself, and others.
Written By Nancia Leath, LPC CPCS
About Inward Core, THE FIX
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